Well, it took nearly a week to recover from the Visa Run in order to be able to tell the Story...



---Slightly abridged for mom-safing---




First the basics: 315km each way from our guesthouse to Ranong, the Thai side of the border. That's 200 miles (or 31.5 Swedish Miles). Rental Car- Avis Toyota thingy (compact). Departure Time from Phuket - 4am. Driver + Passengers = 3.

Our extra passenger was Ardeshyr, our Iranian/german (little G) Man of Mystery. He drove half the way... But we'll get into that later.

Driving 400 miles in a day is a long way for me. Peing a passenger (doesn't really matter who's driving) makes it exponentially more difficult. This is partly because I grew up with parents that always tensed up when someone else was driving. I guess everybody has trouble in the passenger seat.

The drive up was pretty painless- I slept 2/3rds of the way and drove the first half. Eventually need dictated that we call in the backup driver. Marie wanted to sit in the back seat. I would take the Navigator role.

In the spirit of casting the first stone, I will admit that it is hard to drive on the left side of the road when you have driven on the right your whole life. I will also admit thay it is difficult to center the car (especially a rental) in the lane given this condition. Using the windshield wipers as turn signals is also a given.

But the "Left Side, Left Side" chant should be audible on every turn! (Only a problem once.) Likewise, special consideration is required on narrow roads, especially when passing.

It's always hard to get somewhere when your single navigational aide is a map with an arrow indicating rough direction and distance from the edge of its world. It's especially hard if there are lots of turns and no signs between the arrow and your destination. Such was the case with the Andaman Club Pier. I believe it took four queries to the locals to get us there.

Fortunately, Andershyr was driving at this point and he wasn't afraid to ask for directions. That arrow with the "Andaman Club, 7km" took almost an hour to bridge.

Trip up: 5 hours.

Burma Crossing
I hate the name Myanmar, and not just because I can't spell or pronounce it. It lacks a sense of history, and, well it's hard to pronounce.

Thai immigration was a breeze here- no lines, no scowls, and the officers don't even have to wear their uniforms! We would be off on the next boat! In an hour. Unfortunately, no place for breakfast.

The boat over to the island was even easier- it actually had air conditioning!

The Andaman Club is an island resort and casino in Burma a few kilometers from the mainland. Thais go there frequently on the weekends because gambling is illegal in Thailand. It was pretty much empty when we got there, but I am sure that would change after we left with a Friday Rush.

We ate lunch there while waiting the 40 minutes for the next boat back. Nobody had been bitten by the gambling bug. Of course our food arrived as the boat was leaving, so we had an extra hour to kill before the next departure. That's got to be planned... Food was good, view spectacular, and inexpensive. We took a look at a guestroom, which was slightly less magestic than expected due to the musty carpet. (It takes carpet a month to take on that smell in this climate! Silly material selection, architect!)

Back to Thailand we went, passing the "two-men, one net, and a Long-Tail boat" fishermen hunting Jellyfish in the bay. Stole a picture of Andeshyr, should be up on Moonshine Fantasy soon.

Thai immigration: Smooth as Silk- in and out in 5 minutes, save the trip to the bathroom.

Immigration - 4 Hours and 30 minutes

Now for the trip back. I had four and a half hours to plot this phase from when we parked the car to when we drove off.

I knew three things: I wasn't going to drive through rush-hour traffic again- I had paid those dues already; Ardeshyr's driving had to be kept to a minimum; and I was going to sit in the back seat so as to avoid the stress of thinking we were going to loose a rear-view mirror (or a quarter-panel)!

I had the keys- the first part of my plan would be easy, and I would have a good head start on the second. And we could stop in Khao Lak, 100km from Phuket, grab a bite, and switch drivers. A Hatrick! All three for the mere price of getting the keys.

Drove for two hours, didn't loose any mirrors, nobody complained. Making pretty good time. Andershyr pipes up... We need to stop soon. Knowing we would have to change places, I kept driving. Men can hold it for hours, almost days!

After a half hour, Marie pipes up: oh, let's stop at the resort around the corner.

Doomed, I think. Doomed.

(The resort was actually pretty cool, jungle setting with pool and lake, good family cabins with lofts, grossly overpriced...)

Having taken care of business (and sitting down for Watermellon Shakes out of guilt over peeing-and-running), I nervously handed over the keys. I grabbed the back seat so Marie partially shielded my view forward. (No, she doesn't have a big head!). I would just look out my window...

...And see just how close a rear-view mirror can get to a motorcycle without the driver panicking and crashing. Also, get a chance to inspect the drivetrain of trucks we are trying to pass.

Ardeshyr was an honorary 3/4 Thai for his driving technique. (Not "bad" driving, just that zen-like sense for being just far enough away from disaster to get the blood flowing, but not cause any lasting harm.

I gasped, I shrieked. I tried to hold it in, really, I did. I didn't verbalize my concern until we were close to the end, 10km from the guesthouse. "The lane you are driving in is for motorcycles; the car lane is to the right."

'Oh, no wonder they were all in the way,' he didn't say.

7:10PM we arrive back at the guesthouse, rental return agent waiting. No new scratches or dents visible. One mirror, two. Front-left quarter panel, check! Safe and sound, car, us, the cars and motorcycles we passed, and the oncoming traffic as well.

15 Hours total, still an hour faster than the bus...

Good for another 30 days!